Save Riverview??? Bullshit!!!

When the subject of Riverview comes up, there is a hue and an outcry coming from people who want to keep those buildings up as a testimony to the help that the Government of British Columbia gave to the people who were mentally ill. This makes me turn purple with rage. My viewpoint is that the buildings responsible for the incarceration of dozens of people who were kept medically sedated with pills because the staff there didn't want to actually have to do anything, should be torn down, razed completely to their foundations. And nothing should ever be put there again other than a monument to those who died there at the hands of the BC Health Care System.

I remember 5 years of terror, this was when I believed in my mother and wondered every day why she was going crazy. The infamous Crease Clinic was a staple of my life for five years. Constant visits to my mother. The brief lucid moments that she had in between doses of barbiturates, and her pleading and begging that she wouldn't have any more of these psychotic episodes. My mother was bipolar and had these hysterical self-harming episodes or she would flip out and go batshit crazy and start hitting anything close by her. These were scary times for someone who had to deal with his mother going f*ng insane from the age of 8-12. I wouldn't wish this on any other kid. My fellow friends never knew this. This was our dirty family secret that was never to be aired. At 12 I had to go toe to toe with a doctor 45 years my senior demanding that my mother be taken off barbiturates because they were doing absolutely no good. My mother also went through shock therapy to make her mind "all straight again". That did NO good whatsoever. And electro-shock therapy back in those days was a barbaric procedure. There was torture done in those buildings in the name of "mental health...CARE". Bullshit! Care wasn't even in their lexicon. They came to the building did their work, and the sadists who comprised the staff thought it was a good day when the inmates didn't "ACT UP"!

All Jensen Ackles has heard of was rumors and perceived impression that he had met up with ghosts during his filming there. Yes, there are people who died there. Crease Clinic is not merely entertainment for the masses. How many families have suffered at Crease Clinic and Riverview? How many families wondered if their loved ones would ever see the light of sanity again? How many families lost hope? And Hollywood uses these buildings as a form of entertainment? They make money on the memories of pain and suffering of countless families who shudder every time they see the buildings involved because of the years of suffering that they had to go through? And that's appalling.

I've said before that I want to see the buildings razed to the ground. And I will hold that stance to the day I draw my last breath. Those buildings, after what went through behind those walls, don't deserve to stand as a monument to what atrocities stood for healthcare back in the early days of psychiatric medicine.

Family Like This??? Who Needs Enemies!!!

I cannot stand my maternal relatives. Evidently, I've become the black sheep of the family and frankly, I don't care. My oldest uncle is egotistical because he was 2nd in BC writing the provincial exams and he became an oh so-glorified, "my shit don't stink" statistician for the Canadian federal government. My 2nd uncle tends to be the "I'm going to follow whatever my sister and older brother says" type of person. If you don't have a backbone, then don't bother talking to me. Evidently, he doesn't think that I'm a "relative"...so to speak, but frankly, who gives a shit. Then of course he has the guts to tell me to my face: "I hope you're not here to cause any trouble". On top of that he's said some nasty things about my dad and about my dad's family. And if he's going to play that game, he'd better hope to hell I don't find his ass around my neck of the woods. Because he'll be wearing his ears as trousers.

And of course, everyone knows my innocent as a saint mother (spits). My mother has the only connection that I have to my father's side of the family, and she's going to take that information to her grave. The conniving bitch. I'm sorry to have to impugn my beloved grandmother, but my grandmother gave birth to the most conniving, egotistical assholes this side of Conrad Black.

The only person who I gave a shit about on my side of the family was my Dad. And if I don't get the information to track down my relatives in Japan, I won't have the opportunity to ever again. I don't want the information for myself: I want it for my kids who deserve to know more about their family than they know. They don't need to know about their asshole "wanna-be royalty" maternal side: (as far as I know, they were farmers and vegetable pickers) all because one of their ancestors was the Lord High Executioner (he was a burakumin despite his high and mighty title whereas the Chikamori were samurai and well respected).

Right now, my kids know more about their mother's side of the family than their dad's. My kids have a right to know their family in Japan. And my mother really doesn't want to get on my wrong side when it comes to knowing Dad's family. She will give up that information before she dies...one way or another.

I have no desire to know any of my relatives on my mother's side. Not a single iota of a chance. As far as I'm concerned, the family ended with my grandmother and grandfather. And my uncles and my mother can go to HELL as far as I'm concerned. Spit on my father's memory and they are as good as dead in my books.

Busy, busy, busy...busy...

Just finished cleaning off the kitchen table. I will have to organize the papers that were scattered on the kitchen table later. I need to also call Sonia and see if I can take a week off and try to see if I can get myself more organized around here. We're just at the cusp of getting it to the point where I don't need to constantly be on the situation to get it clean. I am noticing a difference, but it's a very thin edge between getting it completely clean and having it revert to the way it was before which I don't want it to ever become. I can't count on one hand the number of times that I've had to TOTALLY clear off the table. I think this makes about "total clean up # 7"!!! One of these days, I will get it through people's heads that the KITCHEN TABLE is a KITCHEN TABLE...not a flat surface filing cabinet!!!!

We need filing cabinets and a small shelf to put the printer and scanner on. The bottom shelves can be used to put the spare reams of paper on. Or I could shovel the laptop to one side of the desk and put the HP 1005 on the remainder of the table.

Went up to grocery shopping with the boys, fed them some scrambled eggs and sliced hot dogs. Edited some of the photos that I took last night of the tree. I'd be able to get some really good shots if I had the AF-S VR Micro-NIKKOR 105mm f/2.8G IF-ED. Then I'll be able to turn around and get the close-in shots that I've always wanted. But of course, I won't be able to get the 105mm until middle of 2012. Anyways, that's soon enough that I can do some flower shots and be able to do a decent close in focus shot when next Christmas comes around.



Sonia called Heather and asked if we can go in for a dual counselling session on Thursday. Sounds fine to me. Just so long as we can manage to get back in enough time for me to pick the kids up. Friday, Heather works a full-8 so it's going to be a tough haul for the whole day until she gets home. And little miss fussy-britches (Stormi) is starting to take milk off the bottle as well as her solid foods. I'm glad because it's a load off my shoulders. Tomorrow, I'm going to go up and try to take some photos of Holland Park lights.

Polyushka Polye (Field, O My Field) - Russian Folk Song

I'd have to say that Don Bellisario has a way of influencing all sorts of things. JAG brought about my marriage to my wife who is a fellow JAG fan. Another Don Bellisario series brought about my appreciation for Russian music. In Airwolf "Proof Through The Night", the Russian folk song: Polyushka Polye (Field, O My Field) is played in two locations during the episode. Initially when Moses Rostoff goes to pick up his family in the secondary location in Russia because he wanted his family to be able to exit the Soviet Union along with him; and secondly when Stringfellow Hawke goes out to have a talk with Tanya Rostoff outside his cabin (Tanya being disgruntled at having to escape Russia and go to the USA with her father).


Hawke playing his cello (Copyright Don Bellisario-Universal Pictures)


Tanya singing (copyright Don Bellisario/Universal Pictures)

The Romanized Lyrics (Russian)

Polyushko-polye
Polyushko shiroko polye
Yedut da po polyu gyeroi
Proshlogo vryemyeni gyeroi

Vyetyer razvyeyet
Eh, da po zelyenu polyu
Ih udalyye pyesni
Proshlogo vryemeni pyesni

Tolko ostavit
Im boyevuyu slavu
I zapylyennuyu dorogu
Vdal uhodyashuyu dorogu

Polyushko-polye
Polyushko shiroko polye
Yedut da po polyu gyeroi
Proshlogo vryemyeni gyeroi

Polyushko-polye
Vidyelo nyealo gorya
Bylo propitano krovyu
Proshlogo vryemyeni krovyu

Polyushko-polye
Polyushko shiroko polye
Yedut da po polyu gyeroi
Proshlogo vryemyeni gyeroi

Vyetyer razvyeyet
Eh, da po zelyenu polyu
Ih udalyye pyesni
Proshlogo vryemeni pyesni

Tolko ostavit
Im boyevuyu slavu
I zapylyennuyu dorogu
Vdal uhodyashuyu dorogu

Polyushko-polye
Vidyelo nyealo gorya
Bylo propitano krovyu
Proshlogo vryemyeni krovyu

Polyushko-polye
Polyushko shiroko polye

And the favorite recording of this is by the Russian Red Army:
(the volume sucks on this video, you may have to crank the volume on it)



I don't know if it is the melody of the music or the deep Slavic rhythms of the piece that draws me to it, but it strikes a chord deep inside.

"I'm So Blessed"...Really...Are YOU?

This will probably step on a lot of toes of Christians. Frankly, I'm a Christian myself (though I am non-denominational and non-church-going: I don't believe in being a part of man's church, I either talk directly to God or not at all). I don't believe in making a big scene out of my Christianity and yes, I do have a feeling for other religions. I don't believe in the "this religion is false" or the superiority of one religion over another.



The one thing that really annoys me about fellow Christians is when they start yammering about "I'm so blessed". It sounds pretentious and arrogant as if you were looking down from high on lesser humans. It put me off about organized churches and thus that kind of behavior started to make me look upon churches as more of a gathering place for like minded people who seem to have a "superiority complex".

I tend to quote KJV Matt 5:5-8. (5)And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. (6)But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. (7)But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. (8)Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

Yet I hear all the time, people saying "I pray to God that I can have this...or give me the strength to overcome such and such a burden". Matt. 5:8 already says that "for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of..." Why should we have to pray to Him "for things". What we need to pray to Him for is guidance.

Evangelical Christians like to quote "right to testimony" with 1 John 1:7. "For there are three that testify:" What they do not realize is that they have cut that quote completely short. The true quote is from 1 John 1:7 - "(7)For there are three that testify: (8)the Spirit and the water and the blood; and these three agree. (9) If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater, for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son. As much as people would like to testify to the great things that God has done for them. If they do they fall afoul of Matt 5:7. If you wish to testify to the non-Christian, then wait until they are receptive. Otherwise it's like talking to a locked and bolted door. Do not batter on the locked doors in non-Christian forums or news comment feeds. "If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater, for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son."



To me, nothing is greater than to have private communion with God and His Son. And for me His Church is the Great Outdoors (not to be confused with the Great Outdoors Church in Titusville Florida - where people go inside to pray ), where I can see his majesty and creation not sequestered in some stuffy four walled complex created by man where all I am able to do is look at structures and idols created by man. When I take my camera out with me and take a look at all the photographic opportunities thus created, where I marvel at the ducks and the geese who will walk up to me with no fear in their eyes, when I see at night the stars and the galactic vista that is displayed to me - the cosmos arrayed in front of my eyes; that's when I marvel of the creation that is the world that God created. That is why I do not need fellowship with my fellow man. I take my fellowship with God's creatures. I stand in amazement and awe of God and his creation. Heck. he created the dinosaurs as far as I'm concerned. Evolution and God may have stood hand in hand.

God has blessed me with photographic skill that I've been able to develop to operate my camera in such a way that I can capture the images He presents me with for which I am THANKFUL for such blessings.

Japan is Japanese First...

What is it with gaijin like David Aldwinckle (his attempts to Japanify his name are nothing short of ludicrous) and his attempts to change Japan by pointing out "racist" signs and other bullshit? Japan was here long before his kind came into Japan under Matthew Peary and gunboat diplomacy (Open up Japan or we'll invade and take over attitude) and will still be here long after. While his ancestors were hunting deer and gathering nuts, berries and squash, Japan was marking its feudal age (the samurai of which my family were part of) My family goes back 600 years in our koseki, frankly, my family is older than your country (the United States of America). Now they want to come in (take the name of their spouses - which is not done in Japan) and change Japan to suit the foreigner. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work that way.

Unlike the Western Countries who opened themselves up to immigration and welcomed people in with "Bring us your huddled masses, yearning to be free", Japan was forced to be "open" at the threat of "gunpoint". It was a matter of "You guys open up your country, or we'll blow it open". Frankly, Japan doesn't want foreigners "invading" their country. Our mantra is "Come, visit...enjoy...THEN GET THE FUCKING HELL OUT!!!" See the difference. If you want to stay in Japan, you play by Japanese rules. Don't like it...tough shit. On the other hand, if you're willing to play by the rules, we welcome you with open arms. Show the proper respect, remember the social rules in Japanese society and you won't be treated like a big hairy ignorant, officious gaijin who tromps around like Godzilla trying to get his own way.

BUT it doesn't matter how long you stay, whether you learn our language, whether you decide to gain Japanese citizenship, you will always be thought of as a foreigner (a learned foreigner perhaps, but a foreigner nonetheless) in Japan. Even us Japanese-Canadians (and by that extension, Japanese-Americans) are considered foreigners. Japan is a patriarchal inheritance structure: always has been, always will be. My view is if you are a gaijin male, you will never gain entrance into Japanese society as an equal (considered Japanese). You have a foreign face, a foreign set of mannerisms and a foreign sense of entitlement that will never be accepted in Japan. There are rules that govern social interaction in Japan and there are social classes. You respect your elders. You do not rock the boat. If you want to vote, you become a Japanese citizen. But do not expect the rules to change for you.

I have more of a right to Japanese land as my name is on the koseki and I am the head of my family, no matter how old my cousins are, mainly by right of my birth as firstborn son to my father. Also I have a great antagonism towards gaijin trying to hold Japanese lands. Just because it is done in Western society, does not mean it holds true in other lands. This attempt to gain land for oneself (if you are not a Japanese citizen) that originally is held for Japanese citizens is a blatant attempt at trying to horn in on Japanese culture. If it is not done, it is NOT done. It doesn't matter if it doesn't sound right to your non-Japanese brain. This is Japan, not your country.

My impression of gaijin women is that they don't come in expecting what gaijin men expect. Most gaijin women who marry Japanese men understand what they are getting into and the ones who don't soon leave. They understand that they either are a part of the Japanese family (they take the Japanese name) or they will always be considered that "outsider" who took up with their Japanese son. The Japanese women in the family are considered expendable. It was only after the Allied Occupational Forces after WWII came in and fucked everything up socially, that the women got the idea that they wanted carte blanche to do whatever the hell they wanted. In my family, once you leave the family, you cut off all your baggage (including your family name) and you start a new family with your new man. Call it sexist, call it whatever you will, but it is the Japanese family culture. You gaijin have no right to come in and mess with the family structure. That will get you ostracized so fast your head will spin. Remember again, my family has over 600 years of heritage. You don't mess with 600 years of heritage or you will be out of the family so fast you'll wonder how the hell that happened. With that family history, I expect that any woman who enters the family to respect that and adhere to family rules. The Chikamori kazoku is one of the tightest and it is very rare for outsiders to get into that family unless they know the rigid structure of that family and are willing to adhere to that family's rules. The "ie" (household system) where the multigenerational household operates under the legal authority of a household head. I am the head of my family by virtue of my birthright as the first son to the first son (my father) of the first son (grandfather) of Chikamori family. Even though my relatives (my uncles are older than I am, they have to defer to me as the head of the family.

I, as the head of my family, would not allow my daughter to hyphenate her last name. If she chooses to marry a gaijin, she's become a part of that man's family. I'm not fond of women who trumpet that they are called "Kyoko Suzuki-Wilson" or whatever the hell hyphenated Japanese- gaijin name that they ended up. You marry a gaijin or Japanese, you take on their last name. You are no longer a part of the family other than occasional visits and family blood ties. You have no right to the "Suzuki" family lands. The lands go to the men of the family. If there is no men in that family, the lands revert back to the Imperial Crown. In the feudal age, if a woman could not bear a son, it brought shame onto the family because their lands would be forfeit, once the female child was of marrying age.

I as the head of my family do not like the idea of any of my family marrying a gaijin and having that gaijin want to take my family name because he wants to become a part of my family (a gaijin male is barred entrance from my family). He is welcome to take my daughters and go create his own family koseki under his own name. My family is Japanese men with Japanese wives first and foremost, Japanese men and foreign women (who truly want to be a part of the family and not rock the boat next) and nothing will change my mind on that point. As far as only the rights of Japanese citizens being able to own land. It wouldn't matter if the foreign male spouse took Japanese citizenship. I would rather that my lands reverted back to the Japanese Emperor than allow a gaijin to take control of my lands.

In otherwords. The Allied Occupational Forces did a great job in fucking up Japan's social structure to make it more like the United States and Western Culture. That's why we see such abominations as Hentai and Otaku running around. There is no respect for authority any more. I don't excuse Japan's behavior during the war years and the expansionist imperialist regime that they went on in the Pacific prior to the war. There is no excuse for brutality and human war crimes.

I am a black sheep in that I married a white girl. My wife on the other hand married me for love and not because she had some strange fascination with Japanese culture and she does occasionally chafe under the ie family structure, however she knows that this is how we hold the family together. I am old-school Japanese cultured. I was raised by a mixed family of wartime Japanese national and Japanese-Canadian who was interned during the Second World War, and thus my generation would have been mostly influenced by the "must retain our Japanese values to survive" mental outlook.

There aren't many traditional Japanese left. And those who are, are under fire from non-traditional families who have catered to the Western culture. There is an old Western saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do..." Plainly put, don't rock the boat. Otherwise you will be always considered as the "ugly gaijin". Just remember, you have NO rights of entitlement in Japan. Japan will always be for the Japanese first. There is no "melting pot" in Japan. If you can't deal with that fact..."Go back to where you came from!"

Lots of cleanup work.

There is still a lot of stuff to clean up, however we have managed to pare everything down to one single container of stuff to be organized. The one single container contains all the loose items that we've gathered over 2 1/2 years of living together. However, this is going to need the help of a filing cabinet to sort out all the crap that we need to still sort out all out, of which there is 3 containers full. If we do it carefully, there should be enough room for the Christmas tree this year. But we need to pull the trigger on a file cabinet pretty soon. We are so close to getting the cleanup done...and I want it finished before 2012.

On the 20th we need a laundry hamper for the clothes, a small shelf container for the linens...the towels can be placed the way they are, but the linens need to go in a container. I found one at London Drugs that could be used to put our linens in. All I need is two of them and I should be fine. Sterilite Shelf-Tote 24L

I'm also looking at a way to deal with the printers and scanner so that I have a place to put them. 3-tier Wire Frame rack

I need to get a hamper to put the clothes in that need to go down to the washing machine. Laundry Hamper w/Lid-Canadian Tire.

The filing cabinet is going to have to come from Staples. Staples Brand 4 drawer steel filing cabinet And I'll be able to finally get the last few files stored and filed away.

I'm also going to have to get another wheeled recycling container from Canadian Tire. 128L Recycling Box on wheels I'll have to go up to Canadian Tire to find one.

We're just about on the home stretch and I want to get done. That's the main thing. The house needs to get clean and stay clean.

Cleanup...taking time to do it right!

Well, a thorough cleanup takes time and lots of effort. Right now, I'm 4 minutes into getting ready to start on the dishes. Then I'm going to make some rice. I've got some major shredding coming up.

The term "cleanup" tends to make me want to throw my hands in the air, scream and run for the hills. Needless to say, it's not topmost on the list of things that I enjoy doing (frankly, I'd say that it hits close to the bottom of the list, if not the very bottom). However it's something that has been post-poned for far too long and needs doing; and thus doing right. In that regard, I believe that we still have a few more items that we need to do a proper cleanup job.

1) another large recycling container, mainly for shredded materials and overflow of recycling.
2) a laundry hamper for clothes that can keep stuff headed to the laundry in one spot.
3) a file cabinet for loose important papers to be filed away (a large 4 drawer legal filing cabinet) properly where they can easily be accessed

I have a few other ideas, however it`s hard to really get a good idea of what`s necessary because there are quite a few small objects that really need to be assessed before finding what`s the proper solution for dealing with them. Either recycle it, or keep it where it can be used. I`ve done too many years of "throw stuff into a container and keep it hidden out of the way". That's how I've found that the crap just piles up...and then it becomes a major problem when you can't find enough space to put all the stuff that you need to hang onto. It also becomes a problem when negotiating your house becomes a major hazard.

I know that the house will always be a work in progress. The kitchen never seem to get clean, but that's an on-going life project. Kitchens are never the epitome of "clean". They're always in use.

It's the other rooms that I would like to get a handle on. I would like to be able to have a tidy "rest of the house" so that all I have to do is be able to run the vacuum over those rooms, and pick up a few things here and there. Other than that, my main concentration would be the kitchen and keeping that tidy. In that regard, I would like to make sure that I have hidden storage (ottomans or benches) in the living room (usable dual-functionality furniture) so that things that I would like to keep (some books and magazines) have a place to hide out of sight, out of mind. But there won't be that proliferation of containers all over the place.

I have a lot of containers inside the house, but the fact is that each one of them contains papers and items that need going through (after I get a filing cabinet) and that probably won't be until late December, early January. What I want is to get it to the point where I don't need to worry anymore about where things need to go and to have only enough things to make a move physically possible with relative ease.

That way, I'm able to manage the house with the least amount of effort, and am able to spend more time with my kids rather than "minding the house". "Babysitting the house constantly" is not a part of my job description. "Babysitting the kids is..." and unfortunately, the house has been in such a state that I've been neglecting doing anything fun with the kids because the house is stealing away time from the rest of my family. That's why I'm putting my foot down and saying "This gets done once and for all. I've had it. I want a MANAGEABLE HOUSE!!!"